All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
