she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
