I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
