She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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