Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
