Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
