Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
