i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
