you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
my poor anus
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
