And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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