i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize