I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
