Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He shit in the fireplace
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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