and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
smell my finger.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
