I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
