eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
