SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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