yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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