guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have tasted many bathrooms
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
