Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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