Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
there is glitter all over my balls
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
