Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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