the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
