I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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