Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
