what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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