yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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