youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was CRYING into my vagina
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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