I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
