fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
