I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
