Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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