paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
BRING THE BAGELS
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
