Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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