girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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