I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
