her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
