It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
