Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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