Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
