hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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