Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
