you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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