; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
