were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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