Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I take back everything I said about communal showers
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
