How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
