i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
