I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
