Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
