you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm passing your future prison.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
