apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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