I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
