Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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