For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize