i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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