So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
